Guys.. Im writing this post right after watching a really stupid movie called "I hate Luv Storys".... No offence meant but it's not really my kind of a movie.. Utterly depressing.. deplorable.. and I am not using expletives on my post.. but seriously- I'd consider it one of THE WORST movies of my life...
Well.. this post is not about that (I know I am getting a bit stereotypical here like a la karan johar's movies).. but seriously, its about more serious issues. Love - successes and failures.
Why do people break up? I hear all sorts of new reasons each day. People give reasons with big words such as compatibility issues. compatibility - what does that mean? Means a girl and a guy need to agree on certain things (mostly sensitive things such as respecting each others families, sex, etc and that s only in 20% of the cases, and in the remaining 80% its on some rather silly things such as drinking, smoking, returning home late at night, rash driving, etc). Some people have a list of items with each criteria having an AND condition on it, which means all conditions MUST be fulfilled and must be Mr or Mrs perfect, as the case maybe.
I don't mean to say that all people breakup just like that. What I mean to say is trading off is the way to live. Guys, if your girl doesn't like you drinking, then try not to drink (or at least try not to get caught.. :P) Oh, and compromises are not only for guys, the same goes for girls as well (not the drinking part.. well - maybe some exceptions).
Breakups are such a cruel thing. Probably the worst punishment that people in love with each other can give to each other (and it is yes, a huge torture to the friends of the people who break up... just kidding -friends are always there to help) . Breakups happen for various different reasons, but at any point of time, there is always one of the two, who still wants to get back.
And to the question - why don't things work? Have you seen any machine work on its own? Even a TV? You have to switch it on, increase the sound, adjust the picture, set the TV properly in a good setting, all that. Love is also a machine. Love also needs its own bit of adjusting, care, etc. Of course, there will be fights, arguments, separations, at times even lack of time for each other, but all of those will just be a passing phase for people who are strong willed in a relationship.
This article might seem like utter bullshit ( I'm no love guru or something..) but I really thought I should write about this, after watching that movie.
Well.. this post is not about that (I know I am getting a bit stereotypical here like a la karan johar's movies).. but seriously, its about more serious issues. Love - successes and failures.
Why do people break up? I hear all sorts of new reasons each day. People give reasons with big words such as compatibility issues. compatibility - what does that mean? Means a girl and a guy need to agree on certain things (mostly sensitive things such as respecting each others families, sex, etc and that s only in 20% of the cases, and in the remaining 80% its on some rather silly things such as drinking, smoking, returning home late at night, rash driving, etc). Some people have a list of items with each criteria having an AND condition on it, which means all conditions MUST be fulfilled and must be Mr or Mrs perfect, as the case maybe.
I don't mean to say that all people breakup just like that. What I mean to say is trading off is the way to live. Guys, if your girl doesn't like you drinking, then try not to drink (or at least try not to get caught.. :P) Oh, and compromises are not only for guys, the same goes for girls as well (not the drinking part.. well - maybe some exceptions).
Breakups are such a cruel thing. Probably the worst punishment that people in love with each other can give to each other (and it is yes, a huge torture to the friends of the people who break up... just kidding -friends are always there to help) . Breakups happen for various different reasons, but at any point of time, there is always one of the two, who still wants to get back.
And to the question - why don't things work? Have you seen any machine work on its own? Even a TV? You have to switch it on, increase the sound, adjust the picture, set the TV properly in a good setting, all that. Love is also a machine. Love also needs its own bit of adjusting, care, etc. Of course, there will be fights, arguments, separations, at times even lack of time for each other, but all of those will just be a passing phase for people who are strong willed in a relationship.
This article might seem like utter bullshit ( I'm no love guru or something..) but I really thought I should write about this, after watching that movie.
I saw that movie a week back. Waste of time.
ReplyDeleteOh, and breakups. It can also happen because either or both choose to defect to greener pastures. Pretty practical some think, however parasitic it sounds.
I wud nt call the movie depressing, I'd call it too predictable.. and two more reasons fr breakups, practical issues (blah blah) and boredom :P
ReplyDeleteNo doubt that movie was utterly idiotic.
ReplyDeleteReg. relationships, being sensitive to each others need is more important than 'conditions'
I have not seen the movie, so I will not comment on it.
ReplyDeleteMy take on the subject of 'relationships' is as follows: For *any* relationship to work - whether romantic or platonic (even friendships) - there has to be a BASIC compatibility between the people involved. This "compatibility" includes a basic respect of each other. If one person does not respect the other, then that relationship - regardless of super human effort on the part of that other person - will not last.
If, au contraire, that respect exists, then it will propel us to do everything in our power to nurture that relationship or friendship, no matter what. Respect, at its core, is inseparable from unconditional love.
This respect / unconditional love for each other will help you survive other issues - including what would otherwise be deal breakers - such as incompatibility in lifestyles, belief-systems, etc. Respect will help you empathize with the other, see things from their perspective, value them for who they are, make compromises and sacrifices and do whatever it takes to retain that person and that relationship / friendship in your life. So, for example, if this means giving up smoking, then you'll do it. If it means going through a period of financial difficulty / instability together, then you'll do it. Substitute the above with X, Y or Z, and you'll do it.
Think about the relationship between a parent and his / her child. A parent's unconditional love aka respect for his or her child will propel him or her to walk through fire for that child. Similarly, a child's unconditional love aka respect for his or her parent will cause him or her to be a pillar of support when that parent most needs it - regardless of circumstances or situations.
Thus, IMO, when a relationship (or a friendship) ends, it is usually because one or both people have disrespected each other. When there is no unconditional love between two people who supposedly share a close bond, then not only is it NOT a tragedy to have ended that relationship, but rather a travesty to have not done so any sooner.
Just my humble $0.02 :)
We all have the ability to adapt. Break ups are like death. People have lived without their loved ones. The age group determines how we treat break up. I think its down to maturity and letting your heart absorb the memories. You will always find another heart that will heal yours. There is always so much you can try to save your love, you try too much or not try at all, either way you lose it. Heard stories about people succeeded the obstacles and living with each other, people living others life, people ended their life. Which one do you define as success or which one do you think is the real human experience? I would say just keep it cool and life is not supposed to be this hard.
ReplyDelete