Some things can never change...

Elections are fast approaching in India and political parties have already started doing the usual thamashas for the elections. The sort of gimmicks that they pull.. omg...

Some of these include premier ministers claiming that elections are far more important than some major sports events. Well, honestly, both are useless, except that sports events promise entertainment and do give people that, while election promises are more often than not (god, please forgive me, I know I am lying here. People who are reading this know the truth) blank promises.

It's at this point of time during a politician's career, does he/she choose to visit their constituencies, that have faced with nothing but neglect, since the day that the politician was elected. Stupid common people as we are, we tend to believe some stupid promise that a politician gives us.
"Gharibi hatao" meaning "we will remove poverty" was launched during the pre-historic age ( it seems that long), and till date, we do find people begging on the streets. "India Shining?" with electricity failing in many parts of the country? And whatever happened to promises of proper infrastructural facilities?

There was this election a couple of years back, I remember. It was a local election. There were some shameless workers of a political party, some of whom I know personally, casting votes. Casting votes- not in the way that simple common men like you and me do. They are special souls who are entitled to cast as less as 50 votes in a single election. What say now?
That was paper ballots people, it won't be long before poltical parties go technical. Maybe they'll even tamper EVMs to register only a single party's vote.

And anyways people, please do vote ( I dunno how many people read my blog, but those of you who do read this blog, please do vote.) Don't sit at home claiming that "all those standing for my constituency are not good enough". Do that and your vote is taken away by some vote monging, unscrupulous party worker for his/her own party, without you even going to the voting booth.
If you feel that your constituency has no good candidate, you can still walk up to the election officer (unless he's an inside man of some party) and tell the officer that you want to post a negative vote. By doing this, an election can be re-held in your constituency, with fresh candidates standing. So people, PLEASE DO VOTE.

Falling terrorist standards???!!!!!

Sorry that this post comes after quite a few days after that dastardly attack on the Sri Lankan cricket team that was touring terroristan.. oops, sorry, typo- Pakistan.

Well, looking back at the attack, there were newspapers in India which screamed these headlines,

Hindu: “Terrorists attack Sri Lankan Cricket team in Lahore”

ToI: “Neighborhood Just Got Scarier”

Indian Express: “Terror Hits Lanka Team; Wounds Pakistan & Cricket”

Deccan Herald: “Six Sri Lankan Cricketers hurt in Lahore terror attack”

However, newspapers across the border wrote:

Pakistan Express: “Falling standards in Terrorists Training???”

Lahore 03 March 2009: In the worst ever performance by their home grown and trained terrorists, all the visiting Sri Lankan cricket team members left Pakistan shore alive. Govt officials expressed concerns about this as it would tarnish the image of Pakistan as a breeding ground of terrorism and their credibility to produce world class terrorists has taken a beating. Govt asked the PSU (Public Sector Units) terrorists groups to improve the training standards and urged the terrorists to take their training and careers seriously.

Prime Minister later during dinner with the participating terrorists chided them mildly that they cannot waste tax payers/US federal Aid money like this. He was particularly harsh on the terrorist who threw under the bus (carrying cricketers), the grenade which did not detonate. Prime Minister worried that this did not do any good to his plans of changing Pakistan National game from Cricket (which anyway is having its natural death) to Hand Grenade Throwing. He felt that this was the best bet for Pakistan’s aspiration for an Olympic Gold Medal. He urged erstwhile Pakistan cricket bowlers – Shoaib Akhtar and others, who are famous for throwing instead of bowling, to take up coaching terrorists on grenade throwing as their cricket careers are finished now….

Pakistan Times: “Chinese imports are no longer reliable??”

Pakistan Government ordered a high level delegation consisting of all ammunition experts under the leadership of A Q Khan (father of the Nuclear Plans), to study the unexploded grenade for the reasons why it did not perform expected duties. The hand grenade clearly had visible ‘Made in China’ logo on it, which embarrassed Chinese Government. Chinese Premier issued a public apology to Pakistan People for failing to live up to their expectations and vowed to strengthen their R&D and manufacturing facilities to re-instill the confidence in consumers.

Pakistan Prime Minister in a later press release mentioned that he would re-consider renewing Chinese contract for annual supply of ammunition, which is due for renewal in April. Unless China proves that they have taken stringent measures to ensure that the reliability of their ammunition is certified by their government, Pakistan would consider approaching other sources for their annual staple supply of ammunition…

Dawn: “Visiting Sri Lankan cricketers return to their country, Alive”

There was all round disappointment reported across Pakistan that all the members of the visiting Sri Lankan cricket team returned alive, denting the image of Pakistan as most the happening country in the world (for wrong reasons). People staged protests on streets and demanded government for the “falling return on Investment of ammunition.” They are also worried that this would set a bad precedence and foreigners may choose to visit Pakistan without any fears.

The betting racket reportedly lost a billion Pakistan Rupees as everyone expected all the visiting team members to be killed. This also had tax collection implications for government.

Government later issued a public apology to people and assured them that they would take sufficient measures to ensure that they are accountable for every Pakistan rupee being spent on training terrorists. They also urged more youngsters to take to guns as this would make the career as terrorists much more competitive and Pakistan can continue producing abundant supply of world class terrorists.

When the initial news of attack was shown live on their national news channels, all the people came to street and started bursting crackers. Their joy was short lived when the attack stopped in 25 minutes and they took the crackers back to their homes so that they can use it for next opportunity, which anyway should not be too far away.

Some of those Pakistanis who still have a job and left for offices in the morning and hence missed the ‘Live action’ on TVs, rued their luck for having to work while majority of their brethren enjoy these live actions on TV idling at homes. The working class in Pakistan demanded that henceforth they be informed before hand about terrorists attacks so that they can stay back home and enjoy the live action on TV. Government assured them that they will publish “Annual Terrorism Calendar” and align their public holidays with this calendar.

All in all there was mixed opinions on the futile terrorist attack as it did not give them the required mileage in international community….

This attack could never have been carried out without the help of an inside hand. Maybe- Younis Khan and Co? They appeared to be pissed with Samaraveera's ominous form.

Well, Pakistan claimed that they had provided world class security to the touring Lankans, but they escaped death only by a whisker. However, a few days later, there were videos of the fleeing terrorists that was released. Looks like Pakistan is only full of gun toting terrorists and empty promises that Pakistan makes about curbing terror.

Anyways, lets just hope that terrorist standards fall so much that those bloody bastards shoot themselves for missing a target at point blank range while training. Should every terrorist adopt such a method, there will be enough to dig graves for the dead.

P.S: Wondering what that photo is? That s the new uniform issued by the ICC for teams touring Pakistan.