Nearing THAT hill!

***** SPOILER ALERT: - YOU PROBABLY WON'T LIKE THIS, IF YOU ARE JUST ABOUT TO TURN 30. COME BACK AFTER A COUPLE OF MONTHS TO READ IT *****

Wow. Just how can closing in on 30 can change you! I am not 30 today, but getting there a day at a time.

As we  near 30, we start to think and do a lot of things. I can think of a few that I do think and/or do myself.

1. We REALLY start thinking about our career and money.

And if you have seen one of those sans-Gandhi Rs. 100 note - you really do belong to a generation that has or will be turning 30 soon.

We start thinking about investments - proper investments - a house, maybe even a second. We start thinking about a promotion or even a start-up sometime. We start saving up for all of that and some even for a rainy day.

Just as a good career advice - network a lot. In India, it would be much easier to do it and you may very well get to meet high power corporate people (not extremely high power like Ratan Tata) much more easily than you would in any other part of the world.

2. We start eating a lot more at home.

A few years earlier you and I were probably thinking where can we go for my next lunch/dinner with my wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend as the case may be, but once we approach 30 - that's really when we start thinking that I should eat more at home.

This is not because you and I have become lazy that we don't want to drive down to that dhaba at Mount Road, but more so since we think that we spend a lot of our savings on eating out. (Refer Point 1).

3. You Plus (at least) One.

As any Indian guy turns 25 and 22 if you're a girl - people start asking you - "When are you getting married?" and if you are married, people start asking you about kids! OMG.

Yes, and as you turn 30 and if you are still single - some thoughts about getting married or having a kid starts creeping into your mind.

4. You really start caring about social issues.

My city's youth impressed everyone all over the world with their efforts during the floods in Chennai in December. I can't but quote what an Indian Army Officer said about the rescue efforts in Chennai - "In all other places we see more victims than volunteers, only in Chennai did we see so many more volunteers than victims."

I guess that pretty much sums up our mentality.

Once you start nearing 30 - your Facebook and twitter feed is no longer about Big Boss or about Virat Kohli's breakup. It's more about the why things happened at so and so. It's about assessing what has been done for India. You start thinking more logically about who you want to vote for (Ahem -  readers from T.N. and Kerala).

5. We lose some friends and gain some.

As we grow older, we do lose some of your friends. It's a sad thing - but that's how life is. That's what turning 30 means. A lot of us must have now lost contact with some of the guys/girls we used to hang out with everyday when we were 27.

And suddenly, your boss and your senior at work seem to become your best friends and advisers for your life and career.


6. We become much more happier with what we have

As you approach 30 - some of the things mentioned above may have happened to you and you start to realize that you feel much more happier with what you have.

You decide that you don't need the new iPhone and you can save more money by using that old Samsung phone and a basic post-paid connection. I decide that I don't want some fancy number plate for my new car and I can just go with what I get.

7. We look back at your life so far and laugh at some and cry at some.

Life always has its ups and downs and when you turn 30 - you definitely look at your journey so far. The road ahead will no doubt be long and tortuous, but by 30 a lot of us would have seen a lot of things and that would give us the strength and confidence to face a lot more in life.

Bonus point - if you have that special someone with you, who will stand by you - no matter what.

8. You start valuing relationships.

Valuing relationships as a jeweller would. You value people who have been good to you, who have helped you/helped your family. You value people who have been bad to you and your family.

You will choose who you want to keep close to you and who you want to cut out.

9. You WILL travel.

Even if not internationally, at least to some place where you find your solace. This will definitely happen to most people a lot before 30.

This will give some experience or another. A story to tell your crush/girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/kids/random stranger in the seat next to you.

10. You will understand courtesy.

A lot of us Indians do not know basic courtesy and I am ashamed to accept that. I know I will draw a lot of flak for saying this.

We definitely do not know to hold the door for the person behind us. We do not know how to stand in a line (cutting across and creating multiple queues for a counter). Despite so many of us being well educated, we don't even think twice about littering the streets.

We definitely do not care about being polite with people - saying please or sorry. Say please to the salesperson at the store if you need something - it will make their day. Thank your subordinate for the good job he/she did today at work - it will motivate them to do more for you. Ask "How is your day so far?" to that person on the other end of the phone at a call center resolving your issue - they hardly ever get asked that question and it will be very helpful (Trust me).

This is probably the one thing that anyone - 30 or even 3 will need to learn.

Why this Kolaveri?

Within the past few weeks, some of the safest jobs in the world have turned into ones that people might fear to take up. A bank was robbed in broad daylight, a bus driver goes crazy and kills people by running the bus over them, a teacher was murdered by her own student.

Is 2012 really going to happen? Chaos all around already. But really, that kid murdering his own teacher? What were you thinking? Killing your teacher is revenge?

Well, to be honest, inherently we (read - Indians) have always been blaming someone else for even the tiniest of our faults. Would that kid have gone to the extent of killing his teacher had his parents raised him properly? The thing with us as Indians is that we always beat the floor up if our kids stumble and fall. That's to make the child feel that "my parents are protective of me."

What could have happened with that kid so badly that he went to the extent of killing his teacher? Most of us have faced failure in academics (to varying degrees of course) at some stage or the other. But really, killing your teacher? and the reason is you were influenced by a movie? Where did you leave your brain, boy?

When most (generations of the 70's-80's) of us were growing up, we didn't have so much of violent movies, and even those which had scenes of a knife dripping blood were given an "A" rating, so that only mature audiences could watch the movie. In fact, movies which didn't have too much of violence or sexual content used to get an "A" certificate. The movies that come out today... well.. and kids these days too "mature" quickly.

Parents of today don't really have the time to sit with kids and talk to them, neither do kids for that matter. Nuclear families, no influence from the grandparents, working parents who return late from work, kids who run from school to tuition classes to extra curricular classes, etc -  all that hardly leaves any time for interaction between the parents and their kids. Fast paced, hectic life has taken out what matters the most to growing kids.

Adolescent kids, specially boys tend to do all sorts of nonsense growing up. It's at that time when a parent's or a grandparent's guidance is most important. And when that's not there for the kids, you never know what may happen. In joint families (seems like way back into stone age huh?) there was always an elder person in the house who used to take care of the kids. My parents never had to worry that their 10 year old son was all alone at home. My grandparents, my aunt, my uncle and even my great-grandmother were all there to take care of me. Stories, tales of people with good virtue used to be told to the kids to make sure they had the right kind of influence growing up.

When us kids from the 70s and 80s grew up in India, we didn't have too much of technology or western influence on us, which made us go bonkers at every opportunity. And also money. Money makes the world go round. Apparently, this particular kid came from a very affluent family and was given enough pocket money. And that money went to buying a weapon for himself to take his teacher's life. Indirectly, the parents themselves had sponsored a woman's death.

Well, life will go on.. life will find a way.. May that soul rest in peace...

Boys Vs Girls... ***Controversial Topic***

Much has been debated, dissected and analysed about the sexes. It's always been said that women are the fairer, but weaker sex. Not anymore. Not true these days. Women compete with men. Women give men a run for their money in all aspects, which includes guts, glory,booze, drugs, crime, career, success in life, money and power. There have been many great men and women who have walked the face of this earth. All of them would have certainly had a contemporary of the opposite sex who would have certainly matched them at some point of time (maybe if not in their own generation, at least in another generation).

Quite recently I watched a movie which I like a lot (I've watched the movie quite a few times before that too). Shows the difference of opinions and mentalities between a guy and a girl who used to be in a relationship. The movie opens out with a guy saying that god's first creation was guys since god knows that guys know how to enjoy life. A girl pops out on to the screen and says that girls endowed with such charm and beauty are the best creation of god and guys are just test pieces. The narrator says maybe both are right, but even god can't decide on what issues will a guy and girl get along well and on what issues will they lock horns. To resolve such a conflict, he created the magic called love. Quite true right?

Well, come to think of it- we guys are happy go lucky, reckless, jovial, smart, cool, can even be a little caring, kind hearted, loving, and yes we too can be a little emotional as well. This is something that I've ripped off from Mr. Russell Peters - We guys, when we get into a relationship, girls ask us not to lie to them. We say "sure. Whatever." One fine day we sit and stare into open space for about 15 mins (YES. We guys can do that. Can't we?). The girls come up and ask us "What are you thinking about?". We say "Nothing" and we are being honest about it here. The girls keep nagging us till we actually lie "I was thinking about how cute you are". Girls ask us not to lie and we end up lying because of girls. Seriously.

Anyways, there are a lot of things that girls hate with boys. When we guys are in a relationship with a girl, does it mean that we can't even look at other girls? But yes, we are loyal to you. Somethings that girls never understand is that- how many ever girls a guy looks at or talks to, we guys (well, most of us guys anyways) almost always remain committed to our girls. We enjoy our sports and we don't really like shopping. We can see only 16 bit colour unlike you girls who spot such minute changes in colour shades and give each single shade a name. Oh my god.

Girls- you girls are absolutely pretty, charming, gorgeous, intelligent, caring, loving and very emotional. There are somethings that guys hate with girls. First thing is always suspecting guys of being disloyal. That's something that we guys can't really tolerate. Not when we are being extremely loyal. Girls hate waiting for guys, when we guys wait for over 2 hours for you girls to get ready to go somewhere. When guys look at other girls, we get a cold mean stare, but when you girls look at other guys- it's just looking.

Oh yes. You girls have to keep thinking about something or the other. Good thing- it saves us a lot of pressure and yes a lot of grey cells. And we have the direction sense when we drive. It's been scientifically proven that girls lack some of the skills that we guys have. For instance, we can catch a ball flying at us, perfectly and pretty instinctively. We can drive to any given location just by merely knowing a couple of landmarks. And yes, there are things that most of us guys can't do and all of us guys can't do. For instance most of us guys can't really cook well. Most of us guys cant really set things the way that you girls can.  Most of us guys aren't really that creative (we are bloody lazy). And yes, most of us guys don't really study that well. Most of us guys can't really take care of kids (but we do love kids). And all of us guys can't get pregnant. Something that god's given uniquely to girls is motherhood. The pain, the pleasure and the joy that you girls get in bringing a life into this world- something that no man on earth can get. Hats off to girls for that.

This really doesn't bring a conclusion to the argument- who is better. Does it? Well, neither man nor woman is better. We guys have our faults, you girls too have your faults. Let's understand each other, fall in love and enjoy life. :)

P.S: I know I might get kicked for this post.

Dynasty or Die-nasty??

Ever seen dynasty politics?? or at least heard of it??

Well.. what exactly is Die-nasty or is it dynasty politics? Little too confusing ain't it? Simple, yet so complex.. That's what it's all about. Dynasty politics is a little complex compared to die-nasty politics..

Die-nasty politics.. easy one.. politics in which u get to die in a nasty way.. ugh.. that's die-nasty politics. for eg: You get involved with a tiff with your rivals, and they are out to get you; Make you feel real bad about that tiff, so they put up a really devious plot, which 'll get you killed or at least hurt very badly. Now, that's what you'd say Die-nasty politics.

Toughie- Dynasty politics.... this 's something more delicate than the die-nasty politics. Simply put, a dynasty is a family. So, it 's more often than not called, family politics. Now, family politics, as popularly known, it's basically all the political happenings within a family. Consider a very Indian scenario, to better understand family politics. To understand this deeper, consider a typical, Indian joint family.

In a typical joint family, it's more or less like the elders rule the roost. In the elders itself, in almost 9 out of every 10 families, have the poor male "head" of the family, who happens to be the "head" only as a name. AKA rubber-stamp . This "head" has to obey his wife, who happens to be more or less dominating. She continues to dominate the male, till the poor guy passes away.. that's a bad one.. Then, in the heirarchy, comes the daughters of the "head". These daughters. These daughters are eventually the mother's pet. Obviously, if there are more than one daughters , the last one's bound to be the favourite. And the the last daughter's kids get more attention and care than even the son's kids.

And yes of course, just like their mother, these daughters tend to go after their husbands, reducing their husbands also to the status of their father, the rubber-stamp. Finally, lowest down in the order would come the son, his wife and kids, who do everything for the "head" and his wife, who hardly ever recognise anything done by them. To the "head" and his wife, or to be even more precise, the wife would hardly ever give a shit to what her daughter in law does or says. Then, even if the daughter in law's extremely good, she gets kicked even then. Right from day one, when a girl gets married into a typical Indian joint family, she is looked at with such contempt, like she 's meant for bonded menial labour. Not only does the head's wife irritate her, she draws flak from her sisters in law for being the nice girl that her husband and mother in law want. Apart from all this, she has the additional burden of taking care of her parents and siblings; which is to compound her already existing problems. Final nail in the coffin- she goes to work and has an extremely demanding boss. Bad times befall her everywhere. All in all to sum it up- it's saas vs bahu, everywhere, with all the others playing supporting cast.

Poof.. That's just the outline, and I know, your eyes bleed already. Imagine, if this 's just the trailer, then the movie??? Anyways, it's all a part and parcel of life in an Indian family...


"All the world's a stage,And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts,"

Where do these lines fit in? The rubber-stamp was once upon a time a kid to his mother, then a husband to his wife, a father to his kids and then finally a grandparent to his grandkids. Implied meaning- Males are always dominated by his female counterpart. There may be a few families in which the females are dominated. If you, as a reader are from one of those few families, please forgive me.

Disclaimer: The above post was written from my own observations. Any resemblance to any real life happening is purely coincidence. And, I'm not a chauvinist.

One more time- lose control

Ever felt like losing control over urself? ever felt like going berserk about something?
Ever felt like doing something that u've never ever done before?

There are certain really crazy things that we'd want to do. As kids we'd happily roam the beach in our underwear but now?? As adults we now think of crazier things such as becoming kids again, shedding all responsibilities and happily enjoying life as kids....

That's a paradox... That's life... When we were kids we yearned to grow up but when we grew up we yearn to become kids again....

Somehow, most of us at some point of time or the other must've felt, bruised knees are better than torn hearts. That's what's happening all around us. Strife, Love, Hate.

What's there in our life to lose?? Let's just lose control.. just one more time.. Freak out.. Enjoy life...